Red Lantern
by Mayushii
Summary: SAISEI #5. Yusuke and his friends go out for lunch after defeating the Four Beasts. They should be celebrating, but things take a nasty turn when Kuwabara is kidnapped by man-eating demons. Special guests are Chu, Rinku and Natsume. Chu/Natsume, Kurama/Hiei.
1. Red Lantern 1

Red Lantern

by Mayushii

All copyright materials are property of their respective owners.

A/N: Hello! Welcome to the **Yu Yu Hakusho Saisei Project**, a rewrite of the Yu Yu Hakusho series. No, this is not a ploy for me to include a Mary-Sue in the original plot; I'm not a fan of that sort of thing. I can promise you now that I will not include ANY of my own characters in this project (I may combine some characters and give them a new name though, as is the case for the main antagonist of this story).

-This is #3 in my rewrite series. If you like this story, please check out _That Which Comes Between Two Mountains _(#1) and _Colorblind _(#2).

**-A glossary of Japanese terms is at the end of the chapter.**

* * *

Red Lantern, Pt. 1

"…_Sarayashiki police are still investigating the disturbing events of the past week. Last Friday reports of violent crime in Sarayashiki exploded by an alarming 1,200 percent. Investigators are calling it a case of mass hysteria, but say they can't explain the unusual presentation. The affected, who rioted uncontrollably for four days, all congregated at Sarayashiki High School before suddenly collapsing Tuesday afternoon. We'll bring you more on the incident in sixty seconds…"_

The news broadcast played over the loudspeakers of the outdoor cafe, providing some comfortable background noise for the customers. It was mostly ignored by the people who sat drinking their tea and coffee, but it did catch the interest of two boys as they passed. Upon hearing the report, the shorter boy rolled his eyes and the taller boy chuckled to himself.

"Heh… What do you think they'd say if we told them their 'mass hysteria' was really a bunch of bugs making themselves at home inside depressed people's brains?" Kuwabara asked jokingly.

"They'd probably lock us up with the rest of the crazies," Yusuke answered in a casual tone. He shoved his hands in the front pocket of his brown hoodie. "And that's why we'll never get to take credit for this stuff. Who would believe us if we told them what really happened?"

Kuwabara grinned. "So maybe we won't get famous. Look on the bright side. Classes are cancelled for the rest of the week and Iwamoto's teaching license got suspended."

"Sure, I guess, but don't you think this job is more trouble than it's worth?" Yusuke frowned.

"Are you kidding me? Being a Spirit Detective is the sweetest job ever!" Kuwabara said enthusiastically. He pulled his hands out of the pockets of his dark blue windbreaker, raised his fists and started punching the air in front of him as he walked. "All this fighting evil monsters and saving the world… Creepy castles and giant tigers… And _light sabers_, Urameshi! This has got to be the coolest thing I've ever done. Man, I am so pumped for our next case!"

Yusuke forced a smile. "Easy there, Champ. No cases today, remember? We're just having lunch, that's all."

"Yeah, I got it," Kuwabara laughed, his high spirits not the least bit dampened by Yusuke's mood. He jabbed a finger at his friend's nose teasingly, partly to cheer him up and partly because he just liked to annoy him. "And don't forget Urameshi, you're paying for all of it!"

"Yeah, yeah," Yusuke waved him off. Kuwabara beamed and started babbling again, though Yusuke really couldn't tell what he was saying. His mind was on a conversation he'd had with Botan hours before.

* * *

"_Yusuke, wait up!"_

_The Spirit Detective paused, glancing over his shoulder as Botan ran to catch up with him. He sighed exasperatedly, buried his hands in his pockets and continued walking._

"_Listen Botan, I'm kinda on vacation today," he said loudly. "If there's a new case, tell Koenma I'll take care of it when I'm good and ready."_

"_It's nothing like that," the ferrygirl said. Yusuke could hear her following behind him. "Good thing, too. It gives you some time to get things straightened out with Kuwabara." At the mention of his friend Yusuke was tempted to turn around, but Botan continued without his needing to show any actual curiosity. "I'm sorry Yusuke, but you have to tell Kuwabara not to involve himself in your work anymore."_

_Yusuke stopped in his tracks. He didn't dare turn around now. He wasn't sure what kind of look he had on his face, but he knew it wasn't one he wanted to show Botan._

"_Why would I do that? Kuwabara's been a lot of help," Yusuke said, careful to keep any hint of worry from his voice. He paused and thought about what he'd said, then admitted, "I mean, yeah, maybe he gives me one more person to look out for, but—"_

"_That's exactly my point. Yusuke, as a Spirit Detective you have to look after the best interests of others. Your defeating Rando and Suzaku has already made you a lot of enemies among youkai. If you let Kuwabara get involved in your cases, you'll be making him a target too." Yusuke hid his flinch, but he had to turn his eyes to the ground. Deep down, he knew it was true. "You're taking him to lunch with Kurama and Hiei today, right? That seems like a good time to break it off."_

"_Oh come on," Yusuke scowled, agitated. "We just beat the Four Beasts, we're supposed to be celebrating. What am I supposed to do, pat him on the back and say 'thanks for the good work, but your services are no longer required'?"_

"_If you'd rather wait until he gets cornered by some bloodthirsty youkai, that's fine," Botan said sternly, "but I'd do it before then if I were you."_

* * *

_Yeah, sure thing Botan, _Yusuke thought sarcastically. He slowed down a tiny bit, lagging behind Kuwabara so he could look at his friend without being noticed. _And just how am I supposed to tell him to back off? Dumbass likes this Spirit Detective stuff better than I do._

"Hey, Urameshi!" Kuwabara stopped and turned to look back at him, frowning for what seemed like the first time that day. "You said we're supposed to be meeting Kurama and Hiei around here somewhere, right?"

"Oh, yeah. Should be…"

Yusuke trailed off when he noticed some commotion up the street. He could hear shouting, crashing, and glass breaking from a shop's entrance up ahead. Passersby began to spill off the sidewalk and into the street so they could leave a wide berth around the doorway. Moments later, what looked to Yusuke like a long-haired hippie and a guy with a face made of putty flew out of the door and crash-landed in the gutter. Yusuke and Kuwabara blinked, stunned.

"Clear out, ya sobs!" a man's voice yelled. A second later the man appeared in the doorway. He was very tall and muscular, with an outrageous purple mohawk, and he wore tight red pants with a black leather vest that would have looked right at home at a punk-rock concert. Strangely, the big beefy rocker was also wearing a white apron. "I'm not having you ratbags lobbing in on my pub!"

The hippie pushed himself up and took off his round sunglasses, which were bent and cracked on one side where he'd been punched.

"Chill man, we weren't looking for trouble," the hippie said. "We just heard you could hook us up—"

"Well ya heard wrong!" raged the purple-haired man. "We don't serve humans around here, got me!"

"Chu, quiet! People are staring!" A woman pushed her way out through the doorway. She was only a head shorter than the man, had short brown hair that was purposely tousled, and wore a dark blue cheongsam that showed off her curvy chest and hips. She glanced around at the spectators and cleared her throat. "It's all right, everyone! Everything is under control!" she said loudly. When people continued to ogle at them, she turned around and glared at Chu, shoving him hard in the chest. "You, get back in there!"

"Eh, now, Natsume, I was just—"

"_In!_"

Chu and Natsume disappeared through the door again and slammed it behind them. The hippie and the putty-faced guy helped each other to their feet and hurried off down the street. As they passed, Yusuke heard them muttering crossly about red meat and lying sacks of bodily waste.

"Urameshi…" Yusuke glanced at Kuwabara, who was staring at the doorway in trepidation. "Tell me that's not where we're going."

Yusuke blinked and finally noticed the large, red paper lantern that hung beside the shop door. The stylized writing on the lantern declared the establishment a traditional-style pub. A small smirk appeared on Yusuke's face.

"Looks like," he said.

"But that guy just said they don't serve humans," Kuwabara pointed out.

Yusuke coughed, hiding a snicker. "Well Kuwabara, why don't you think about that for a minute."

Kuwabara did. Yusuke knew the moment Kuwabara figured out what the youkai had actually been talking about; the big lug broke out in a nervous sweat and his face went so ashen it was almost blue. Chu hadn't meant they didn't have human _customers_; he'd meant they didn't have humans _on the menu_.

"I think I'm gonna have to pass on lunch, Urameshi. I just lost my appetite…"

"Sure," Yusuke said. "I'll just be sure to tell Hiei that you were too chicken to even set foot in the restaurant." Kuwabara looked horribly conflicted at this, and Yusuke slung one arm over his shoulders to propel him toward the door. "Come on, we picked this place out special so you'd be able to eat here without feeling weird."

And Yusuke had had one hell of a time trying to find the place, too. He had known Hiei wouldn't feel comfortable in a human restaurant, and a youkai-run restaurant that served human flesh was out of the question. That hadn't left many options. Eventually, Yusuke ended up calling Kurama to ask his advice on where to bring his team for their victory lunch. The Akazora had been the perfect compromise; the pub was small, run by a youkai couple, and it serviced youkai and humans and everything in between. According to Kurama, there was no better place for a group like them ("You mean a bunch of freaks?" Yusuke had asked slyly, and Kurama had just smiled and waved his hand).

Yusuke kept pushing Kuwabara all the way up to the front door. Once they were inside, they were greeted by Natsume. The woman was looking a bit harassed but trying not to show it. Up close, Yusuke saw that she had bright pink eyes. Definitely youkai.

"Welcome to the Akazora," said Natsume. "How many in your party?"

"Two right now, but we're meeting two more," Yusuke answered, holding up four fingers total. "Don't suppose Kurama or Hiei have shown up yet?"

"Ah, you two are Mr. Kurama's friends?" Natsume's expression brightened considerably. "He comes here every other week, he's a very good customer. I'm afraid he hasn't shown up yet, or your other friend. We will direct them to you when they arrive, though." She wrote something down on a clipboard and asked, "Would you like a private table or seats at the counter?"

"Uh, table I guess," Yusuke shrugged.

Natsume wrote this down as well and then motioned with one hand toward the interior of the restaurant.

"If you would follow me, we'll get you seated right away."

Yusuke and Kuwabara followed her, taking in their surroundings as they went. The pub was a long, narrow room warmly lit from above, and near the ceiling Yusuke noticed long mounted shelves filled with sake bottles. A bar took up the space to their right, half the stools occupied by youkai who somehow managed to blend in with the human salarymen. Behind the counter was an open kitchen where Chu and a smaller blue-skinned youkai were preparing food. Chu was chopping up some long green onions, and that might have explained his streaming eyes, but there were bumps on his head that hadn't been there when the two man-eaters had left. Yusuke suspected that Natsume had clocked Chu over the head for making a scene outside. He thought of Keiko and felt himself grinning sympathetically. To his surprise, Chu caught his eye and grinned back at him.

As they went deeper into the pub, the wooden floor gave way to a raised platform area for tables. Yusuke and Kuwabara had to leave their shoes under the platform so they wouldn't damage the area's soft tatami mats. Natsume seated them at one of the low tables.

"The bathrooms are over there if you need them," Natsume said, waving at a doorway with signs indicating there was a back exit, a storage room and a bathroom in the corridor beyond. "Would you like anything while you're waiting?"

Yusuke was sorely tempted to ask for beer just to see if he could get away with it, but he had the sneaking suspicion Kurama wouldn't be happy with him if he did, so he just asked for soda. Once Natsume left, Yusuke turned to Kuwabara and found the big lug staring after their hostess.

"What's the matter, Kuwabara?"

"I didn't know youkai could be hot," Kuwabara said, sounding slightly awed.

Yusuke snorted. "Then I guess you didn't know Kurama and Hiei are youkai."

Kuwabara nodded vaguely. Then he processed what Yusuke had said and stopped dead.

"Wait, you think _they're _hot?"

"Why not?" Yusuke scratched his cheek. "Not like I'd wanna jump them myself or anything, but you don't have to be attracted to someone to know they're hot, ya know?" Kuwabara was inching away from Yusuke by this point, and the shorter boy glared at him, feeling an angry red blush spreading across his face. He shouldn't have said anything in the first place; Kuwabara was taking it all the wrong way. "Hey, what's that look for? Are you even listening to me? I said I don't like them like that!"

"No, cause it's totally normal to check out your guy teammates." Kuwabara's eyes went round and he scuttled backward. "Oh my—_gosh_—Urameshi, you haven't been checking _me _out, have you?"

Okay, now that was just insulting. "Don't flatter yourself, Doofus! Who would wanna check you out?"

"Now, Yusuke, I think you're being biased. There are many people who would consider Kuwabara a very handsome man."

Yusuke and Kuwabara both turned their heads as a teasing voice nipped their argument in the bud. Kurama was smiling at them, his lips curved and his eyes crinkled with amusement. Yusuke blinked, surprised to see him in something other than his school clothes. Even out of uniform, Kurama's pressed gray slacks and dark teal sweater were more formal than anything Yusuke had ever worn. Beside him stood Hiei, dressed in his usual black cloak and white scarf and not making the least effort to blend in with the humans around him.

"Kurama, Hiei! Glad you could make it! What took you so long?" Yusuke said, grateful for the distraction.

"Sorry about that," Kurama said with an apologetic smile as he sank to his knees across from Yusuke. Hiei took the empty spot opposite Kuwabara, pulled one knee up in front of him and folded his arms on top of it, almost as if he were trying to form a barrier between himself and the rest of the world. "We were at our performance review in the Spirit World. It took a bit longer than I thought it would."

Yusuke grinned and was about to ask for the details of their meeting with Koenma when he saw Hiei's face. Even with the lower half hidden behind his arms, Yusuke could see that the small youkai was not happy. His already gravity-defying hair was bristling, his pupils were retracted so his eyes looked even wider than usual, and every muscle in his body was tense. He looked like he might whip out his sword and start hacking people to bits at any moment.

"Uh…so, how did that go?" Yusuke asked cautiously, wondering what could have happened to get such a violent reaction from Hiei.

Kurama tipped his head and smiled as if he didn't notice the rabid-looking youkai sitting beside him.

"It went quite well, actually. Hiei and I exceeded Koenma's expectations. In fact—"

"Shut up."

"—Koenma felt that we worked so well together that he has offered us—"

"_Offered?_ He wouldn't take no for an answer!"

"—permanent positions on your team."

"And yet he promised us a clear slate! Then he saw we were useful and went back on his word! I should have known better than to trust him!" Hiei dropped his knee to the floor so he could lean forward and glare at Kurama properly. "You realize we're never going to be able to go back, don't you? Enslaved to the Spirit World, we'll be the laughing stock of Makai! He's _ruined _us, Kurama!"

Yusuke looked from Kurama to Hiei and thought he understood their reactions. Kurama, who was quite happy with his life in the human world, was glad to help protect the world he had come to love. He thought Koenma had given him a great opportunity and reward. Hiei, on the other hand, probably saw being tied to a Spirit Detective as punishment. Yusuke didn't know much about Makai, but he could take a guess that youkai who sided with humans weren't exactly popular.

"If you don't like it, why didn't you just say no?" Yusuke asked.

Hiei folded his arms over his chest with a "_hmph_" and looked very pointedly away. Kurama smiled innocently, turning his eyes to the ceiling and twirling a lock of hair around his finger. Yusuke grinned; whatever had made Hiei agree to this, it was obviously Kurama's doing.

"So, you two are going to be working with me from now on?" Yusuke said, just to confirm it.

"Yes." It was a happy sigh from Kurama and a sharply spat curseword from Hiei. If Yusuke wasn't sure Hiei would gut him for it, he might have laughed.

"Man, this blows," Kuwabara complained. "Now I'm gonna have to put up with Shorty every time we go on a case."

The laughter that had been inflating Yusuke's lungs suddenly died, leaving him feeling like his chest had been squashed. Kuwabara and Hiei started to bitch at each other, something Yusuke would have found funny…if he didn't have the sinking feeling that this would be the last time they saw each other. He wondered if Kuwabara would miss his arguments with Hiei. Yusuke knew Kuwabara truly enjoyed fighting, and the people he fought with were the people he felt closest to. Even if he complained about Hiei, Yusuke suspected that Kuwabara secretly liked him a lot…

Kurama was looking at Yusuke with equal measures of curiosity and concern. He'd probably thought it strange that Yusuke wasn't laughing at Kuwabara and Hiei (or alternatively, joining in). Yusuke glanced at the youko and then looked down at the table with a slightly pained, frustrated look. This really sucked.

* * *

_End Part 1 of "Red Lantern"_

A/N: So…I had intended to make this chapter longer, but I feel like people don't really want to read long first chapters, so the end of this chapter got shoved over to the second. Later on I'll probably go back and edit so the part that was supposed to be in this chapter is here again, but for now it'll be in chapter two.

youkai: demons, apparitions, etc.

Makai: the world of demons

**Please review! Otherwise I'll feel like no one is reading. ;_;**


	2. Red Lantern 2

Red Lantern

by Mayushii

All copyright materials are property of their respective owners.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait; a lot has been going on lately. I graduated college, went on a grad program research road trip with my past-and-future roommate, went to a religious retreat with said roommate, applied for jobs, finally took and passed a learner's permit test, and celebrated my sister's birthday _and_ my brother's graduation. Big thanks to **dragonairsdream**, **Little Sadako**, **TheBeingOfEverything**, **Kurama no Miko2003**, and **Caffeinated Star** for reviewing the first chapter!

-End of chapter glossary includes descriptions for each of the foods and drinks featured.

* * *

Red Lantern, Pt. 2

Luckily for Yusuke, there wasn't too much time to dwell on the bad news he had to give Kuwabara. Natsume had returned to their table, carrying a tray loaded with two bottles of Ramune and a glass each of iced tea and chocolate milk (Kurama and Hiei must have ordered their drinks when Natsume first greeted them at the door). Yusuke wasn't sure whether to be surprised or amused by his teammates' choices. Once Kuwabara had opened his mouth and said,

"I bet you blow bubbles in your milk like a five-year-old!"

—and Hiei had turned a poisonous glare on Kuwabara, Yusuke decided it was funny more than anything.

"And what is that ridiculous look on your face all about?" Hiei glowered at Yusuke, looking about ready to bash a few heads in defense of his chocolate milk. This, of course, forced Yusuke to hide his snickers behind his hand and miss Natsume's question about their orders.

"I'd like the kitsuneudon, please," Kurama said softly as he handed the hostess his unopened menu.

"Kitsuneudon, of course," Natsume said brightly.

Kurama smiled and raised an eyebrow at Yusuke, Kuwabara and Hiei, prompting them to open their menus and skim through them. On first glance it seemed like standard fare…until Yusuke looked more closely. He was pretty sure that most restaurants didn't serve such items as demon sweetroot shish kebabs and grilled Makaigyo fillets.

"Uh, I'll have the tempura sampler," Kuwabara said, staring bug-eyed at some of the selections. "Just, could you try to make it…_normal _stuff?"

"Normal?" Natsume asked uncertainly.

"Human," Kurama clarified.

"Ah, yes, of course sir. We'll stick to local ingredients," the hostess said, jotting this down on her notepad.

"Kurama, there's no monjayaki," Hiei complained.

"_Monjayaki!_" Yusuke and Kuwabara gasped, scandalized. Hiei turned a confused look on them.

"Yes there is, Hiei, it just has a different name here," Kurama spoke up with a persuasive smile. "They call it okonomiyaki. It's cooked a bit more here, too, because humans have weaker immune systems and are more susceptible to illnesses from raw food. Isn't that right, Yusuke? Kuwabara?"

The two humans bobbed their heads fervently. "Yep, we swear!"

If Hiei suspected anything was amiss, he didn't show it. (Kurama's lie sounded very plausible, though, and Yusuke might have bought it if he didn't know it was a lie—or was it? Yusuke had never thought about why there were differences between monjayaki and okonomiyaki…maybe youkai really had invented the less palatable version. Damn, now he wasn't sure Kurama had been lying after all.) Hiei muttered something about pitiful humans under his breath and nodded his head at Natsume, who quickly wrote down his order and gave Yusuke an expectant look.

"Guess that leaves me," Yusuke said easily. "Hey Kurama, think the vegetable stir fry is safe for us pitiful humans?"

"I'm sure it is," Kurama beamed.

"Cool," Yusuke grinned as he handed back his menu. "Just as long as it doesn't kill me."

"We will try not to, sir," Natsume said politely, "but due to the nature of our establishment, we cannot guarantee it."

As the hostess walked away, little drops of sweat started to pour down Yusuke's face. _Oh boy. Why do I get the feeling I just signed a death warrant…_

"Relax," Kurama reassured him. "She was joking. Chu is very knowledgeable about what is and isn't safe for human consumption."

"He's a _cook_," Hiei pointed out, as if that explained everything.

"Indeed," Kurama nodded. "Cooking may be simple in the human world, but that's because you only have to know what humans eat. In Makai, there are _thousands _of different types of youkai, and a cook has to be well-versed in the foods each of them can eat. It takes a lot of time and skill to learn it all—and trust me, Chu has. You're in safe hands."

Yusuke glanced in the direction of the bar. Chu was busy throwing a bottle in the air, catching it, and shaking its contents into a frying pan that promptly burst into flames. A couple at the bar "oohed" appreciatively, and Chu grinned as he gave the pan a few good tosses. The last toss went high enough that Chu was able to grab a plate, position it under the flying food, and catch the finished stir-fry without so much as a splatter. The couple at the bar clapped and Chu bowed slightly.

_Okay, yeah. The guy's got skills._

"Man, he's such a showoff," whined a voice near Yusuke's ear.

"Bleah!" Yusuke yelped. The person who had spoken leapt away, bounced off the top of Kuwabara's head like it was a springboard, and landed beside Kurama in a crouch reminiscent of a monkey. Yusuke stared. It was a kid around ten years old, with round, pearly green eyes and a brown thatch of hair just like Natsume's. He was wearing jeans and a pink shirt with long yellow sleeves, and he had a black bookbag strapped to his back. There was also a small green marble bag hanging at his hip.

"Kinda jumpy, huh," the boy commented, his huge eyes trained on Yusuke.

"Sneaky little punk…" Kuwabara growled, rubbing a hand over his hair in an attempt to remove the boy's shoeprint. "Who the heck are you?"

"You're eating at my house and you don't even know who I am?" the boy frowned. "My name's Rinku. My mom and Chu run this place."

"Yeah, well, I'm Kazuma Kuwabara, the number one thug of Sarayashiki High!" Kuwabara puffed himself up impressively.

"Big deal," Rinku drawled. "There are tons of high schools around here. Being the 'number one thug' out of one of them doesn't count for much." Kuwabara's sour face went even more sour, but Rinku ignored him in favor of looking at Yusuke. "I know who _you _are, though. You're that Spirit Detective, Yusuke Urameshi." A sudden, inexplicable chill ran down Kuwabara's spine as if someone had dropped an ice cube down his back. No one else noticed this as Rinku continued, "Heard lots about you from Kurama, y'know…"

"Oh, hey, you talk about me?" Yusuke asked Kurama, brightening at the prospect. "Anything good?"

Surprisingly, Kurama turned red. "Erm, I don't think it's really—"

"Kurama's in _looove _with you," Rinku crooned, making a kissy face.

Yusuke sat in stunned silence. Kurama sat in embarrassed silence. Kuwabara sat in slightly sickened silence.

This left it up to Hiei to leave his seat, appear behind Rinku, grab the back of the boy's shirt collar, and lift him clear off his feet—all in the space of less than a second.

"I thought monkeys spoke no evil," Hiei commented in a careless tone. "Does lying not qualify?"

"Lie, nothin'!" Rinku folded his arms over his chest stubbornly, not seeming too concerned about the precarious position he was in. "It's not my fault if Kurama goes on and on 'bout how Urameshi is _oh, so noble_. Just 'cause an ugly dwarf like you doesn't get any attention—"

"_RINKU!_"

The monkey child froze at the sound of Natsume's voice. Hiei's angry sneer twisted into a smirk.

"Hn… Your mom is calling you," Hiei leered, releasing his hold on Rinku's collar.

Rinku tugged his shirt straight, stuck out his tongue at Hiei, and sprang off in the direction of Natsume. The woman caught her son in midair by his ear and started to chew him out for terrorizing customers, but it changed halfway through into a lecture over the stick-on tattoo of three pink stars across Rinku's left cheek ("But they're not even real, and I got them at school, you can't get mad if they're for _school!_" "Getting them _at _school and getting them _for _school are two separate things!").

"Tch. First monkeys, now fish," Hiei said, dropping back down into his seat and staring pointedly at Yusuke's gaping mouth and Kuwabara's bluish complexion. He sighed, propped his elbow on the table and dropped his chin onto his open hand. "Kurama, rectify the situation before their stupidity spreads."

Kurama cleared his throat.

"Ahem. First of all, Yusuke… While I'm sure you make Miss Keiko very happy, I most certainly am _not _in love with you," Kurama said clearly.

_Oh thank God. _Yusuke closed his mouth, and his heart started beating again. Good thing, too, because he had probably been technically dead for a minute there.

"That said, I don't think I have been entirely forthright about my feelings toward you—a disservice to you, and one which I would like to set right." Kurama smiled and raised his glass of iced tea. "I have spoken very highly of you. In my opinion, the Spirit World could not have picked a better person for the job of Spirit Detective. You are one of the most amazing people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, and half of us wouldn't even be here today if not for you. For that, you have my respect, my trust and my friendship."

Without even moving from his position propped up on one arm, Hiei lifted his glass of chocolate milk in agreement. Kurama smiled, clinked his glass together with Hiei's, and the two youkai drank.

Yusuke rubbed his finger over his nose.

"Jeez, guys, you're embarrassing me here," he mumbled.

"Good," Hiei said unsympathetically. "And this _doesn't _mean we're friends, by the way, so don't get any ideas."

"Yeah, yeah," Yusuke grinned, waving his hand and feeling much more comfortable now that they were back to bickering like boys their age should. "Love you too, jerk."

Hiei scowled with all the menacing presence of a tsundere—that is to say, it came off as totally harmless and even kind of cute. Kurama chuckled and Yusuke beamed proudly. Then, _finally_, Yusuke realized that Kuwabara wasn't contributing to the conversation and hadn't been for a while now. He glanced at his human friend to see him still looking blue in the face.

"What's your problem?"

"…I dunno," Kuwabara muttered. "I've got a weird feeling in my gut…"

Of course, Yusuke wasn't one to pass up an opportunity like that. "Dude, I don't need to know about your bowel movements. Bathroom's thatta way."

Kuwabara leaned down to glare into Yusuke's face, his tongue almost literally twisting itself into angry knots. "_It's not that kind of feeling, Jackass! Why can't you take me seriously for once?_"

"I'm totally taking you seriously! Look at my face. Is this not a serious face?" Yusuke said, making a face that was so serious it was funny.

"Why, you—! Fine! I'll go check it out myself!" Kuwabara was on his feet in a flash, shoulders squared as he looked grimly in the direction of the back hall. "But you better know that if this turns out to be a youkai and I'm the one who catches it, I'm taking your next paycheck as Spirit Detective."

"But Kuwabara," Kurama tried to reason with him, "this place is _full _of youkai—"

"I don't even get paychecks!" Yusuke called.

The door to the hallway slammed shut. Yusuke rolled his eyes while Kurama and Hiei sweatdropped, the former smiling and the latter frowning.

"Idiot," Yusuke muttered, lifting his bottle of soda and taking a swig. "If he falls in, I'm not gonna be the one that saves him."

* * *

Kuwabara was _not _imagining things.

And he didn't have to go to the bathroom, damn it.

Of course, he had been known to mistake his premonitions for the call of nature…

But not this time, he was sure of it! There was something fishy going on here, and he would get to the bottom of it or perish in the attempt.

"And get me another box of green peppers, too," Kuwabara heard Chu call as the swinging door to the kitchen opened. The assistant cook, a blue-skinned youkai with hair messy enough to rival Mr. I'm-So-Short-My-Sword-Is-Taller-Than-Me, stood in the open doorway. For a second the youkai stayed with his head on the other side, assuring Chu that he'd be right back. Then he walked into the hall, letting the door swing shut behind him.

He stopped dead when he saw Kuwabara.

"What are you doing back here?" the youkai snapped.

Kuwabara let out a pathetic _meep_. "Uh, bathroom?"

"It's right there." The youkai pointed his finger at a door almost directly across from Kuwabara. He then made his way toward the thick, metal door of the cold storage area, stood in front of it and crossed his arms. "And make it quick, you're not supposed to be back here."

With the youkai's slitted yellow eyes boring into him, Kuwabara had little choice but to duck into the room across from him. As soon as he had closed and locked the door, he slumped with defeat. So much for investigating a big detective case. He sighed sadly and figured he may as well make use of the facilities. Just to make sure.

A minute later, as he watched the toilet water whoosh down the drain, Kuwabara decided that it had been a false alarm after all. He hated making mistakes, and now he'd have to go back to the others and admit that was exactly what it had been. Urameshi would laugh at him, Shrimp-Boy would give him that stupid insufferable _smirk_, and…well, maybe Kurama would try to act nice, but on the inside he'd be laughing just like everyone else. Kuwabara scowled at the toilet as if to accuse it of putting him in this situation. Stupid thing, giving him bad intel…

_Thump._

Kuwabara's eyes darted to his right, where the sink and mirror stood. He frowned suspiciously. _That cook must have dropped something in there. Well, serves him right. Jerk._

He turned toward the sink, twisted the knobs and set about washing his hands. He had just begun to lather up when he heard another nerve-racking _thump_. Staring warily at his own reflection in the mirror, he rinsed away the soap, turned off the faucet and slowly reached for the roll of paper towels.

_CRASH._

Kuwabara was out the door and running up the hall before the towel roll had stopped spinning.

_It doesn't even matter if there's no case—if there's an accident and I can help, I'll still be a hero! Then I'll show those punks! They won't laugh at me when I'm the big hero and they were too lazy to get off their butts and—_

He wrenched the huge metal door open.

…_help…_

The cold storage area looked like any other. There were thick metal walls, cardboard boxes full of vegetables, large cuts of meat hanging from the ceiling. There was the assistant cook, staring at him in shock, holding two green peppers in one hand and a large onion in the other. There was also a young couple, tied and gagged, huddled in a corner. The man was slumped against the wall, a huge and bloody bruise forming on his temple, while the woman was gazing at Kuwabara with wide, surprised, tearful eyes.

"Oh my…God," Kuwabara said faintly.

Two peppers and an onion flew through the air, and the woman screamed behind her gag as the youkai suddenly blurred into movement. Kuwabara threw out his hand to his side, already gathering energy for his Rei Ken, but the youkai reappeared behind him before he could form so much as a butter knife. A long blade emerged from the back of the youkai's hand, made of what looked like his own contorted flesh. As the blade pressed close to his throat, Kuwabara gulped.

"I told you you weren't supposed to come back here," the youkai hissed.

* * *

_End Part 2 of "Red Lantern"_

_tsundere: describes a person, usually female but sometimes male, who acts cool or aggressive to hide inner vulnerability._

_Rei Ken: Spirit Sword_

_Ramune__: a popular brand of soft drink in Japan.  
_

_grilled Makaigyo fillets__: Rando tries to feed Yusuke to some giant fish during the Genkai Tournament. These are them, but basted with a light soy sauce-based mixture and grilled on skewers. :P_

_kitsuneudon__: udon noodles served in hot soup and topped with seasoned aburaage (deep-fried tofu). It literally means "fox noodles", as there is a belief that Japanese foxes like aburaage.  
_

_okonomiyaki__: Hiei demands monjayaki in one of the radio dramas. Okonomiyaki is a better-known version of the dish. Okonomiyaki is sometimes called Japanese pizza, but it's more like a pancake with vegetables, meat, or whatever you like cooked in with the batter. Monjayaki is the same thing, but the batter isn't fully cooked so it's all liquid-y and gross.  
_

_tempura__: a piece of food (usually various types of meat, seafood, and vegetables) that is dipped in batter and deep-fried. It has a light, crispy texture.  
_

_vegetable stir fry: onion, peppers, broccoli, green beans, carrots, snow peas, etc all sautéed in delicious salty-sweet sauce._


End file.
